if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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