made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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