i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
