I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
