so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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