am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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