32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
