Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
