I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
