I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
The beer is more important than you right now.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
