New low: just hacked my moms facebook
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
