I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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