Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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