at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
