I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
