There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
