this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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