so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize
