Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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