The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
