this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
