finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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