Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
