Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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