So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
