hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
