I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize