What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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