Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He literally asked permission to hit on me
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
