dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
