I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize