why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
even my farts smell like vagina
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
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