And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
