Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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