Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize