i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
