i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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