Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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