Don't make out with my wife yet
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
