her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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