Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Randomize
