she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
