He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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