I love black thongs
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
