i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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