you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
