are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize