all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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