so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
