hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
