Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
