You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize