It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Blow job season was short but glorious.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
