? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I don't deserve a penis
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
