To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
