Swine flu. Run for my life!
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I'm passing your future prison.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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